Burning From the Inside
by Mancuso
Summary: Very short insight into Sam's mind while Dean sleeps in the other bed. Guest appearance by Ruby 2.0 *Eyeroll*


On the inside, Sam felt an intense heat every time he even thought about using his powers. It wasn't painful, it wasn't particularly pleasant. It was a hot tingling. Like excitement. Like sitting at the top of the first drop of a roller coaster. It wasn't much better than the headaches. But it wasn't necessary, either. He didn't need any physical reminders to get him to keep his promise to Dean.

Even then, just five feet away from him, Dean was lying on his mattress, on top of the comforter, still in his jeans and t-shirt. Vulnerable. To anything, Sam quickly thought, masking his first which was "vulnerable to me." He wondered, though; in the past few days that he'd been briefed on Sam's secrets by Castiel, had he ever once feared for himself? And if he hadn't, could it be that he trusted Sam unconditionally, or maybe that he secretly hoped that if Sam was plotting against him and Castiel, that he'd just get it over with so that he wouldn't have to actually fight against him?

Sam shivered. It was never his intention to make so many people (not people...divine beings) nervous. He didn't know Dean would be coming back. God forgive him, but he'd become numb to the thought of Hell and how his brother was probably in the worst pain imaginable at all times. For FOUR MONTHS it went on, and Dean couldn't even remember a millisecond of it. And yet, it seemed to be on Sam's mind now more than Dean's.

Dean was occupied, it seemed. With his new angel buddy, who began to feel less and less angelic every time Dean mentioned his name. If he was a true angel of God, he should've known that Sam's intentions were pure. So maybe he was in league with a demon, but wasn't it obvious that Ruby was different? Did it really matter whether he was working alongside a demon or an angel when the goal of either party was the same? No. It didn't. Or it shouldn't have. Castiel didn't seem to know much at all, the more Sam thought about it. He melted Pamela's eyeballs out of their sockets. The 66 Seals, they could've figured out for themselves with the help of Bobby's library. Taking Dean back in time, giving him false hope of being able to spare his family, and then yanking it away and telling him he never had a chance? RATTING ON SAM? What was so angelic about any of it? The only really beneficial thing he'd done for any of them was raising Dean from Hell. And even then, he did sloppy work. Left a burnt handprint on his bicep and subsequently shattered his eardrums.

Now, Sam still claimed to have more faith than Dean. Of course he did, he'd been a believer all his life. But he had to allow himself some skepticism this go 'round. After all. He was being accused of some pretty heavy treason. And now that he thought of it, it just wasn't fair if he had no ability to defend himself.

It was just as he considered this that he heard the tapping at the window of the motel. Soft at first, and then a little louder. Ruby. She knew better than to fear waking Dean.

Sam went to the door to open up and step out.

"I told you I was done with it, Ruby."

"I know, Sam." She stepped forward, pressing a kiss to his chest. "But you'll still need me."

"For what? If you're not helping me practice my abilities than what can you possibly be doing for me?"

"I can still advise you, Sam. Inform you. Your brother's angel is bad news. And when he finally decides he's let you live long enough, do you think Dean's going to give you ample warning? No. He'll be by his side, likely wielding the lightning bolt. Sam. You're not understood." She just...had this persuasive way of putting things.

"How do I know you're not using me?"

"What could I possibly gain from that, Sam?"

"I don't know. A soldier to help you defeat Lilith and Lucifer only to take the thrown yourself."

Ruby smirked up at him.

"Sam. Even if that was what I wanted, you'd have neglected to mention one other thing."

"Being...?"

"That you'd be seated next to me."

* * *

AN: I've never written anything Sam-centric (or generically hetero, lol) before, so I thought I'd give it a try. I stuck with the dark-side Sam theme because...well...angsty dark-side Sam is a fun sort of alternative to our usual geekboy bleeding heart Sam. Also...I'm sorta on the bandwagon about Ruby 2.0. I had no real prejudices going into the fourth season, because I really didn't think Ruby was going to be coming back, and even though I'd read about Gen's luke-warm acting past and knew that she was going to be on the show, I just...was going to give her a fair shot. But I really think I've seen enough to form my opinion. Now, I wasn't the biggest fan of Ruby last season, but I did believe that her character had good intentions (Yeah yeah, road to Hell...) and meant to at least do some good by getting her revenge or whatever her motive was. But this season, I don't even trust one hundred percent that it IS Ruby. I mean, maybe part of Sam's mojo is that he can know for sure, but still. Until it's explicitly implied (wow, oxymoron) I'm not going to completely buy it. ANYWAY. The point I began trying to make was that perhaps the reason I wrote Ruby as being so...well...shifty and wicked, was just that I'm projecting my feelings about the actress onto the character.


End file.
